feelingsssssss

I've just been thinking about stuff lately. About myself and what I really want to do with my life, and which choices I'm making. My best friend is graduating this year, so it's going to be tough that I won't see her at school every day. Another friend is switching schools an hour and a half away, and she kind of introduced me to Rookie and cool music a year and a half ago. I'm going to miss both of them. I need to think about how happy both of them will be, but I also need to think about what that means for me. I know that sounds really selfish. I've finally begun to be a little more social, and for the first time in a very long while I had people I barely know over to my house, which was nice because they both thought my room looks super cool. I think I might be becoming friends with their little group.

Sometimes I also feel that I don't know enough, about music, books, movies and people. People talk about certain bands and actors/actresses on their blogs and the name rings a bell, but I don't know about them at all. I feel that I should know more. About authors, artists, everything I care about. I should probably read more, and find more websites besides Rookie and Tumblr where I can learn cool stuff. I'm worried that I'm losing my knowledge, knowledge that I never had. I know that sounds dumb, but I do. I feel that there's just too much out there that I can't reach. I have so much books, so much music and so many movies I want to read, listen to and see that I just don't have enough time.

Next year, I'm taking an easier math course which is great for me because I suck at math. And art too, because I love it so much. There's also a course called LF, which stands for Literary Focus, and basically you just read books all year and discuss them with the class. I'm kind of excited for that, but nobody I know is taking it yet.  I only have 2 years of school left, hopefully they'll go by as fast as this year did. In University, I want to take fine arts. I know you can't really do much with that, but the experience will be great. I want to be a writer, but I don't think that'll happen because of the competitive industry. I write all the time, short stories, and in my journal. I record my dreams too, I've no idea why. I just feel that my life has little to no direction right now, and maybe I should take a little break from blogging on here, just so I can sort things out for myself. I have exams and stuff coming up too, so I'm going to take a break. Goodbye, but not for long I hope. I just needed to get all that shit off my chest. Congrats to you if you got through all that.