Tuesday, May 21, 2013

feelingsssssss

I've just been thinking about stuff lately. About myself and what I really want to do with my life, and which choices I'm making. My best friend is graduating this year, so it's going to be tough that I won't see her at school every day. Another friend is switching schools an hour and a half away, and she kind of introduced me to Rookie and cool music a year and a half ago. I'm going to miss both of them. I need to think about how happy both of them will be, but I also need to think about what that means for me. I know that sounds really selfish. I've finally begun to be a little more social, and for the first time in a very long while I had people I barely know over to my house, which was nice because they both thought my room looks super cool. I think I might be becoming friends with their little group.

Sometimes I also feel that I don't know enough, about music, books, movies and people. People talk about certain bands and actors/actresses on their blogs and the name rings a bell, but I don't know about them at all. I feel that I should know more. About authors, artists, everything I care about. I should probably read more, and find more websites besides Rookie and Tumblr where I can learn cool stuff. I'm worried that I'm losing my knowledge, knowledge that I never had. I know that sounds dumb, but I do. I feel that there's just too much out there that I can't reach. I have so much books, so much music and so many movies I want to read, listen to and see that I just don't have enough time.

Next year, I'm taking an easier math course which is great for me because I suck at math. And art too, because I love it so much. There's also a course called LF, which stands for Literary Focus, and basically you just read books all year and discuss them with the class. I'm kind of excited for that, but nobody I know is taking it yet.  I only have 2 years of school left, hopefully they'll go by as fast as this year did. In University, I want to take fine arts. I know you can't really do much with that, but the experience will be great. I want to be a writer, but I don't think that'll happen because of the competitive industry. I write all the time, short stories, and in my journal. I record my dreams too, I've no idea why. I just feel that my life has little to no direction right now, and maybe I should take a little break from blogging on here, just so I can sort things out for myself. I have exams and stuff coming up too, so I'm going to take a break. Goodbye, but not for long I hope. I just needed to get all that shit off my chest. Congrats to you if you got through all that.

2 comments:

  1. Hey :) Maths sucks :( and I just nominated you for a Versatile Blogger Award! Head over to my blog for details
    Aoife xx
    http://passtheteacup.blogspot.ie/

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  2. It is so so so so so so so so so nice to come across blogs like yours, where you just post what you feel in lovely coherent bursts of feelings! It's like reading a journal from freshman year, but sweet, clever, and non-cringey!

    Don't worry about "losing your knowledge", cutie. There's a lot of people that seem like they know lots about lots, but I can assure you that they're not smarter or better than you: they just happened to have extra time to read or watch or hear about that particular thing! You may not know, you may know about something someone else hasn't heard of! And lots of times, to be honest, knowing some obscure band or book doesn't mean anything other than the fact that you heard of an obscure band or book. You seem like such a cool person, and you still have so much time to continue learning about great shows and music! (God bless Rookie for keeping us all updated, amirite?)

    You got this! (Also, good idea on taking an easier math class. I took the easiest math class available to seniors this past year and I did pretty well and still got into a four-year university.) You got this! Good luck!

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